you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
