There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
