He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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