And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
