i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize