Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
