I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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