I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
