OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
