im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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