garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
how can u be prego again
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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