One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize