Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
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