i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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