Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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