i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize