I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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