i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize