Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize