I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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