fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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