The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
