did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
