I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize