did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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