look no pants
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize