i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
