Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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