i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
