You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
