she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
