i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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