1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
