so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
