It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I want her autograph on my taint
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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