Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
