he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
