Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
