the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
