I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize