please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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