Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
