I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
