i cant cry in cvs. not again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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