i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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