Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize