i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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