He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
