So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
