sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
