i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
