check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
