you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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