every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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