The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't put those talents on a resume
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize