We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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