So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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