I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
