no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
