Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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