Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
areolas are like halos for boobs.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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