I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
