do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
