Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
